|
|
Post By ManMan Sun Jun 20, 2004 at 08:05:33 pm EDT |
Subject
ManMan Spends Some Quality Time with...Himself. | |
|
|
Next In Thread >> | |
This takes place in some time where the characters I mention are all part of the Lair Legion.
The Lair Legion were fighting for their lives. Alternate reality versions of themselves had declared that they were the masters of the Earth and so began a pitched battle in the streets of Parodiopolis. Skyscrapers that had been melted into slag marked the territory that Fin Fang Foom fought his doppelganger; the 2 Mr Epitome's had begun their fight 4 hours previously and were still pounding on each other with a determination that bordered on delight; other battles were less extravagant, Manga Shoggoth and his counterpart had subsumed themselves into each other and were fighting battles on dimensions only big blobs of goo could inhabit. The Dark Knights were currently staring at each other, both determined not to blink first.
"This is boring!" Manny declared in the relative safety of his apartment and switched the channel on his TV.
Knifey sighed. "Then go out there and help!"
"How exactly?" The Elvis-Impersonator shrugged. "Tap 'Dark' Donar on the shoulder, explain to him that I'm the good guy so he better stop before I give him a good thrashing with my super-thumbs?" Manny wiggled them for extra emphasis.
"At least you could watch...Cheer them on, that sort of thing?" Knifey continued.
Joe thought for a moment. "Do I have to get up?"
Knifey's sigh was deeper this time. "No."
The hero switched the channel back to the news. "Good!"
There was a knock on his apartment door. "It's open!" Joe told the visitor.
The door burst open. "You'll die for your crimes, ManMan!"
Joe grabbed Knifey, vaulted backwards over the couch and stared into the eyes of..."Me?"
The alternate ManMan shifted uncomfortably in his black leather suit. "I'm nothing like you, murderer!" He lunged at Joe with a large machete.
Side-stepping his attacker, Joe tried to calm the man down. "I've only killed a few people...They all deserved it!" Manny parried the next attack. "How come yours is bigger than mine?" he asked, noticing the machete.
Alternate-Manny grinned. "This is Machetetey."
Joe looked at Knifey. "And I thought your name was bad."
A-M swung at Joe again. "Quiet!" There was a loud clang as the knives came together.
"We're out to stop you," Machetetey warned them. "You and your little dagger too!"
"Hey! I'm a knife!" Knifey protested as they came together again. "And anyone carrying anything that big is making up for something."
Joe giggled. "That's a good one." He grabbed a pizza box and smacked his other self across the face.
Alternate ManMan staggered back in disgust. "Eugh!" he pulled a pepperoni slice off his cheek. "What kind of villain are you? Attacking with pizza boxes?!?"
Joe threw his hands up in the air. "I'm not a villain!"
"That's what all villains say," A-M replied. "But look at this place..." The other-dimensional ManMan surveyed the single room apartment and was shocked - though unsurprised - that he couldn't see any carpet showing through the mass of take-out boxes and left-overs on the floor. "It certainly smells evil," he told his twin.
Joe laughed nervously. "The toilet's blocked...I've been meaning to tell the maintenance man."
"You are the maintenance man," Knifey pointed out.
Manny glared at his sidekick. "Good impression, tiny," he nodded towards the machete.
Alternate-ManMan rubbed his unshaven and finely chiselled chin. "So you're not evil?"
Joe shook his head. "No. Are you-?"
Machetetey sniggered. "Are you kidding? We're the leaders of the Lair Legion! We tracked the Evil Legion through a vortex and now we're going to kick their asses."
A-M frowned. "What? What's so funny?"
There was a long pause as Knifey and Joe tried to compose themselves, both failing miserably as they fell into yet more laughter.
"What?" Alternate-ManMan repeated after a time.
Joe took deep breaths. "Us? Leader of the Lair Legion?"
"And?"
"Look at us!" Parodyverse ManMan waved his hand across the room. "Can you see the carpet?"
Knifey kept sniggering. "He's the maintenance man of a slum building in the worst part of town, he hasn't had a date since his girlfriend dumped him 6 months ago," he turned to Joe. "She still hasn't called you, you know?" the sidekick carried on. "He got put in hospital by a girl, he sleeps in a racecar bed, he watches 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' with disturbing regularity, he collects-"
There was a neat plop as Joe threw Knifey into the toilet. "Yeah, that's enough out of him," he smiled.
Alternate ManMan was stunned. "Wow. We suck!"
Manny sighed and fell back onto the couch. "Yep. I'm the worst."
The Not Elvis-Impersonator sat next to him. "Maybe you just need to do it better?"
"I'm doing my best!" He looked at his dimensional twin. "OK...Maybe not!"
Machetetey had an idea. "How about we both go out and help this Lair Legion?"
Joe sniffed. "Okay."
Alternate ManMan smiled and put his arm around his other self. "There's a good kid."
Joe stood up quickly. "Hey! Just because I watch 'Queer Eye' doesn't mean-"
A-M stopped him. "Hey! Me neither!"
The toilet flushed and interrupted the awkward silence. A voice came from the bowl. "And his sidekick is a better maintenance man!"
The two ManMen stood in Mangatown and looked upon the 2 Lair Legions battling each other. Alternate ManMan nudged Parodyverse ManMan. "Which one do you want?"
Joe smiled. "I'll take that one," and pointed to a clean-shaven, though unmistakably evil, thunder god.
Alternate ManMan patted him on the back. "Aim lower," he told his other self.
Joe pointed to evil Messenger. "That one."
"Lower."
Joe pointed to evil Nats. "That one?"
A-M smiled again. "Got get 'im."
They both charged.
"Thanks for your help," Alternate ManMan told the Lair Legion after the battle. "I'll destroy Harper's dimensional vortex machine as soon as I get back."
Fin Fang Foom nodded. "Glad to be of service."
Alternate ManMan walked over to his other self. "Good to know you," he told himself and they shook hands. A-M turned back to Legion. "Well, I've got to be getting home for my honeymoon, Stacy'll be getting worried," he laughed as a bright glow enveloped him and the fallen Evil Legion. Mangatown was quiet again.
"What a guy..." Dancer blushed.
"Certainly one of the good ones," agreed Falcon.
"I hate that bastard," Joe told them and stormed off.
82-32-113-208.cable.ubr03.hawk.blueyonder.co.uk (82.32.113.208) United Kingdom
Microsoft Internet Explorer 6/Windows XP (0.18 points)
Microsoft Internet Explorer 6/Windows XP (0.18 points)
| Echo™ v2.1 beta 1 © 2004 Powermad Software |
|
|